Cool Jew

The Ultimate Guide for Every Member of the Tribe

(aka The Heebster Handbook)

the world was divided into two camps: Heebsters and non-Heebsters. Heebsters are Members and Friends of the Tribe who not only know what it is to be Jewish. They know it, flaunt it, dig it, and love it. And that is precisely what makes them Heebsters. If you're reading this, you might already be shining your Hebraic loud and proud. But what if you're not? Don't worry. No matter who you are or where you are, you can always become a Heebster. In fact, you're already on your way.

Deep, deep inside, every Jew is in some microscopic way already a Heebster. It's simply part of the Jewish spiritual inheritance. Even if you're ohm-ing in an ashram somewhere in Tibet, or raising buffalo in Dakota with nary a Jew in sight, there is something inside of you that has never stopped being part of the Tribe. It's a mystical birthright that traces its roots all the back to Mt. Sinai and has the power to light up countless generations ahead. All you need to do is fan the embers until that little Heebster spark catches flame.

And it will, my friend, because as a Heebster, you don't just survive, you thrive! Being Jewish is about much more than bagels and loxy. It's about moxie, about feeling Yiddishe foxy! Because when you're of Da Tribe, you've got Da Vibe. It's not about deprivation. It's about celebration, exclamation, and exaltation! When you embrace Da Place, you're blessed with grace. So let go of the pain. You're a link in the chain. Shun shame and embrace fame. Take charge and live large. Once the sweet Heebster harmony starts humming in your heart, you'll catch on fire with a burning love and pride for yourself, our people, and every fabulous facet of who we are! And to that, we say, "Ahhhhhmayn!"

Jew got questions? Jew got answers! When you don't care what it means to be Judaic, that's unHeebster. When you're down with all things Mosaic, that's oh so Heebster. How do you know who you are? For starters, it takes a minyan.

Copyrighted material © Lisa Alcalay Klug